Top 5 of the strangest diseases and illnesses ever

‘Someone always has it worse than you’ Well that is true in some cases. But if you’re one of the people who suffer from something on this list, you can safely say this is not true. If not, next time you see a spot on your junk quit complaining.

5. Priapism

Priapism is a rather painful condition, where a man gains an erection that lasts over 4 hours, for no reason whatsoever.

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Seriously. For no reason whatsoever, a guy can become aroused for over 4 hours, and have no control over it. Since there’s no reason for it, it could happen at any time.

Imagine giving a presentation at work, the boss and his clients sat around a bit table, you wanting to give off your best impression to get that promotion, and all of a sudden, BOOM, you stand there, pointy stick in hand, with an erection. I can’t imagine a situation where this would end well. Unless maybe you are in a dream world where you are the only man in your office and all the women want to sleep with you.

Or when you’re making a cup of tea in your house, and you end up poking the cupboard with your junk.  Not cool.

Wait, what?

This painful illness develops when blood in the penis becomes trapped, and is unable to drain back into the rest of the body. This is considered a serious medical condition, and if not treated immediately, it can lead to permanent erectile dysfunction.

What causes it?

A common cause of Priapism is the use and/or misuse of medications. Drug-related Priapism includes drugs such as Thorazine, which is used to treat certain mental illnesses. For people who have erectile dysfunction, injection therapy medications to treat the condition may also cause Priapism. That’s right folks. If you can’t get it up medical science might fuck you in the ass by giving you a painful, possibly life destroying erection. So if you want to get rid of your erectile problems, don’t solve your erectile problems or you may get erectile problems. Other causes include trauma to the spinal cord or to the genital area, black widow spider bites, carbon monoxide poisoning, and illicit drug use, such as cocaine and heroin.

So that ‘kick each other in the balls whilst wrestling with spiders and taking drugs’ party you thought of going to might not be a good idea.

4. Kluver-Bucy Syndrome

Kluver-Bucy syndrome is basically a syndrome that can turn most animals (including humans) into a horny, drooling idiot. Yes, you heard right.

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Wait, what?

Discovered by Heinrich Klüver and Paul Bucy, who (Hence the name of the disease) first described the syndrome in 1937. Basically, this syndrome either gives you the mental capacity of a small child (whereby you put things in your mouth to understand what they are, rather than just looking at them), turns you into an emotionless zombie (your facial expression is blank, you don’t experience happiness, anger etc) or you could get the urge to mate with inanimate objects. Or another species. Or a combination of all three of these things. Possibly all at once. Either way, you don’t fucking want this.

What causes it?

The most common cause of this is scientists messing with animals, for reasons not really known. The cause of this is syndrome is either heavy damage to or the removal of the temporal lobes. So either you suffer massive head trauma, or you wake up with a surgeon sticking a knife in your head and taking out part of your brain.

When Kluver and Bucy first ‘discovered’ this syndrome (I’d like to know how “I know, lets cut open some shit, prod around with the brain and see what happens” fitted into their research), they were testing on monkeys, and they found out the monkeys had at least one of these five symptoms:

1. Visual agnosia – They could see things, but not recognise what they were
2. Oral tendencies – They’d put everything in their mouths
3. Hypermetamorphosis – They became interested in fucking everything,
4. Emotional changes – Facial expressions were lessened, reduced amount of emotional activity, for example they would approach dangerous animals without hesitation, even after being bitten, attacked etc, they would continue to approach it.
5. Hypersexuality – The desire to fuck absolutely anything and everything. No matter what gender or species. Sometimes even inanimate objects. So if you start eying up that sandwich you made earlier, seek help.

3. Pseudocyesis

This is basically when a woman gets pregnant, but there’s no foetus. Also called ‘false pregnancy’

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Wait, what?

Pseudocyesis is basically when a woman experiences everything she would during pregnancy, except there’s no baby inside. Instead, her abdomen gets inflamed to imitate a growing foetus. For some reason your brain thinks it will be a laugh to make you think you’re pregnant by throwing up all the time, getting stretch marks and having a craving for poached lemons, only to find after nine months the only thing you squeeze out is your dignity.

What causes this?

Nobody really knows. It’s extremely rare, so no accurate links between sufferers can be made as to why it happens. However there are a few theories as to why.

1. Emotional conflict – Some say that an extreme desire to be pregnant, or an extreme fear of becoming pregnant, can create conflicts and changes in the endocrine system in a woman’s body, which could trigger the false pregnancy.

2. Depression - Chemical changes in the nervous system associated with some depressive disorders could trigger the symptoms of false pregnancy.

2. Progeria

Progeria is basically a super aging disease. By the age of about 6, the child looks like a tiny 70 year old.

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Wait, what?

Progeria is an extremely rare genetic condition; so rare in fact that around one case is found in every eight million births. To put that into perspective, there will be around 8 people in the UK with this disease.

Sufferers of Progeria do not normally live beyond thirteen or so, however in some cases sufferers have reached their forties.

What causes it?

Scientists have narrowed it down to one mutation responsible for Progeria.

The gene the mutation takes place in is known as lamin A (also known as LMNA, because saving 2 letters is worth making an abbreviation apparently), which makes a certain type of protein that holds the nucleus in place. It is believed that the mutation makes affected cells unstable, which leads to the cells show rapid aging.

Progeria isn’t passed down in families, the gene mutation happens inside a single sperm or egg, or just before conception. There is a separate type of Progeria that is carried by the parents and ‘given’ to the child, however this only occurs in one type of Progeria, and not any other.

1. Pica

When you get pica, you like to eat things. Lots of things. Things people wouldn’t normally eat. Like soil. Or paper. Or poop. (It is not the thing that the little yellow pokemon shouts constantly, however it would make the show a lot more lively if it were.

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Wait, what?

Pica is considered a mental illness, in which sufferers have the urge to eat things people would not normally eat for obvious reasons.

Also known as ‘Geophagy’, this condition is considered severe, and not something you can just laugh off. Pica has been described as ’abnormal’ and nobody really knows what the fuck is going through the mind of a sufferer. Remember, they will eat pretty much anything.

There is no medical test available to diagnose Pica ‘properly’. Pica is only recognized when the sufferer needs medical attention because of it.(remember, little kids tend to eat things they shouldn’t, but do not require medical attention) this is either because what they are eating is bad for them, i.e. it may be things that have large amounts of bad bacteria in them, some things that are sharp, poisonous etc. Or, if the sufferer isn’t eating nutritious food as well as the many odd things they eat. There’s no real prevention for it either. However it is extremely rare, and a lot of people will never even hear about it, ever. So unless you find yourself putting chalk on your cornflakes every morning instead of milk, you should be fine.

What causes it?

The specific causes of pica are unknown, but certain conditions and situations can increase a person’s risk for pica. The most common sufferers are those who have malnutrition, people who live in poverty, children who suffer neglect,(in essence people who don’t eat enough regular food) those with mental retardation (no, that doesn’t mean one of the dumb materialistic girls you know) other mental illnesses such as autism, people on a diet who are trying to get rid of the hunger sensation and people who have ethnic customs or live in cultures where this is practiced. One theory is that in some cultures, it is believed that eating clay or dirt may help to relieve someone of a physical illness, such as morning sickness or diarrhea, as it could be regarded as a herbal remedy for such things, like many plants are.

Some people claim to enjoy the taste of the weird things they eat, psychological theories explain pica could be a behavioural response to stress or an indication that the individual has an oral fixation (likes having things in their mouth).

Author: Nicky Howell — Copyrighted © roadtickle.com